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Top Ten Party Commandments
  • September 17, 2013 : 08:09
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Editor's note: This website is a parody, and is not affiliated with or endorsed by Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. As should be abundantly clear, the purpose of this website is to critique Playboy's Top Ten Party List and to raise awareness about the importance of consent. More information can be found at

Every year Playboy releases the ultimate guide to campus life: our infamous party school list. Over the years, it has been brought to our attention that some of our long-standing party picks have a not-so-toast-worthy, rape-ridden side to their campus life.

Somewhere in the countless hours we spent tallying up co-eds and scoring beer pong, we lost track of the most essential element of the Playboy lifestyle: sexual pleasure. Rape is kryptonite to sexual pleasure. The two cannot co-exist. For our revised party guide to live up to our founder’s vision, we had to put a new criterion on top. Namely, consent.

In other words… A good college party is all about everyone having a good time. Consent is all about everyone having a good time. Rape is only a good time if you’re a rapist. And fuck those people.

In our new found light, we proudly present to you Playboy’s 2013 Top Ten Party Commandments, the ultimate guide for a consensual good time.

On our investigative consensual tour, we found out that when you don’t have to watch your drink for fear of a mickey or watch your frat brothers gang rape freshmen, it’s actually easier to have a good time and have good sex (DUH!).

Take this list as a guide, not a competition. Rather than tallying up party culture, we are re-inventing it. Today, what we are not toasting to a set of campuses. Rather, we are raising our glass to a new era of better sex and the student visionaries who are ringing it in.

Still don’t get it? Follow these ten party principles and take a few life lessons from Hef.

Here are Playboy’s Top Ten Party Commandments brought to you by sexually enlightened undergrads from across the country who are doin’ it. And doin’ it well.

read more: nightlife, review, issue october 2013